If there’s one thing that’s synonymous with bikers, it’s stereotypes. People who don’t ride bikes generally have one for us – nutters who drive at 100mph between cars, but bikers have their own ones, and we all know someone who conforms to at least one of them!
(Note, these are all made in jest…however if you take offence to any of these stereotypes, there’s a good chance you might just conform to one!)
First up it’s the Hell’s Angel lookalike. This biker will be head-to-toe in leather, preferably with studs and patches. A beard, likely greying, will be blowing in the wind out of their open face helmet…they’re not really a Hell’s Angel after all, they’ve got to wear a helmet, it’s the law! A set of wraparound shades completes the look. Their bike will be a Harley, but chances are it’s squeaky clean, its footboards aren’t scraped, and the only water it’s seen is when it’s being washed after every single ride it’s taken on. The only real rebellious feature is the set of obnoxiously loud straight-through pipes!
Secondly we have the squid, or the person who thinks their skin isn’t very valuable and thinks they’re invincible. Commonly seen wearing flip flops, shorts and t-shirt, and the mandatory helmet. This is the person that gives bikers a bad name when they dodge through traffic on a brand new R1, looking to become an organ donor. Of course, when someone cuts them up it’s the other person’s fault too, not the speed at which the squid is travelling. Also commonly seen on YouTube fail videos, making bikers, and non-bikers, wince everywhere.
Next up we have the opposite of the squid, the sportsbike poser. This person has a brand-new set of Dainese leathers, along with a brand-new 1299 Panigale. The knee sliders are untouched, as are the edges of the tyres. A common affliction of the sportsbike poser is an allergy to rain – at the first sign of rain they head straight home, if they ever headed out at all. Commonly seen at the height of summer doing 120mph along straight roads, before doing 20mph around the slightest of bends on the centre line, with rigid arms and a shaky throttle arm, ready to grab the front brake at the slightest tightening of the curve. One of the deepest, and darkest sins they can commit is putting a belt sander on their knee sliders, but you can always check their tyres.
Moving onto the adventure pretender – these people have no shame in their choice of gear and bike. They spend tens of thousands of pounds on some of the most capable motorcycles ever created, and gear that can cope with weather from the Sahara and Arctic Circle. Not only this, but the other half perched on the back the bike is dressed identically in every way. Despite the bike’s and gear’s penchant for adventure, these people will never go beyond county borders, especially if it involves a country road with gravel on it. The steed of choice for these people is the BMW R1200GS, with full BMW branded gear. If there are no Touratech accessories they’re yet to achieve peak-adventure pretender.
Next, it’s time to take aim at the younger biker – yes, the CBT rider who has yet to discover their limitations, or that a 125, single cylinder four-stroke will never sound good, no matter how loud it is. The same goes for 2 stroke 50cc scooters! Characterised by massive amounts of noise before seeing it, and then realising how slow it’s gone past you…before seeing the L plate creatively stuffed under the rear subframe. Gear will range from just a helmet, to decent full gear, depending on how concerned/strict the parents are, or how flush the youth is! The aspiration for all is the YZF-R125 with an Akrapovic exhaust and no baffle – it doesn’t get any better than that.
Then you have the commuter, probably the least controversial of this merry bunch. Chances are they’ll be riding a Japanese four cylinder motorcycle, maybe a twin, which’ll be mechanically perfect, if a little dirty. Filtering is their game, and if you’re in London they’ll know their handlebar width to the nanometer. Couriers also have a lot in common with this biker, but in recent years this has changed, and it’s the next stereotype to cover.
Couriers, this used to be the domain of dispatch riders who rode with sheer determination through traffic to deliver important documents or parcels against a time limit through heavy traffic in cities. Nowadays, Deliveroo and Uber Eats have changed it to spotty teenagers on scooters with gigantic boxes on the rear rack, riding the same way through almost any city in the UK, determined to use any gap in traffic to pin the throttle, or jump a red light. The important documents now take the form of overpriced pizzas for people that can’t, or won’t, cook!
And then there’s everyone else, you have your bike – you probably want another bike, you probably want some nice new gear, and generally speaking you will ride well and within your limits. In this group you’ll find the people with real skill on a motorcycle on a track, as well as those you take their bikes around the world on a shoestring budget – arguably these are the real bikers, and, thankfully, this makes up most of them around the world!
Like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram and Twitter, subscribe to our mailing list to keep up to date on events happening at Bike Stop throughout the year, drop by to have a chat, have a delicious Lavazza coffee and a cake, or view our large motorcycle gear range.
